Always feels an immense gratitude to Camus’s Guru.
It is not easy to stay with Swamiji because HE never let HIS people stay at the comfortable zone. Once they get breakthrough, the other has been already prepared. It is not difficult to stay with HIM because HE knows HIS people more than they do. He always takes care without doubt. Suffering only will be happened when people are not able to totally surrender.
Camus had volunteered many times in the programs in local city Hong Kong, Bidadi and Bali but the first time for eN-Genius in Hardiwar. She had been a teacher from aged 6 kids to teenagers, but this time her challenge was working with the special need kids.
She had no idea how to communicate with the special need kids, especially the Autism. Fear and insecurity were full of her heart; therefore she spent few days to complete with her feeling before she went to India. Things were coming with struggles when she arrived at Haridwar. Her anger made her in emotions on the day before the program started. Even Swamiji coming close in person with HIS warmth sight and shining smile, Camus rejected HIS blessing and comfort.
She fell into the hole of incompletion. She kept her anger and complaint “authentically” – express all her uncomfortable feelings to herself and others. She got sick so early in the program on the third day. She was in high fever in the evening while she was walking across the road with tears, she said in her heart, “I want to go home!” She could not settle her feeling at that moment, she knew, and got a message immediately, “this is your home.” She argued, “I want to go back Hong Kong!” and the voice replied in tender, “You should stay here. Don’t worry. I will take care of you.”
The night she reached her room, just took off her shoes, then jumped into the bed in the dark. She was still in tear, and found there was a Swamiji doll bought a day before. She held the doll for her only comfort.
It was still in fever next morning. Her lower back bone was painful when she sat in the hall for morning satsang. Suddenly huge heat was burnt during Kalpataru meditation, and just in few seconds, the fever and the bone pain disappeared! The miracle happened by HIS healing power without asking.
However, the body was still sick that Camus had got diarrhea for 8 days! She started her completion when she got fever. It was understood that only completion could heal her body, so she did not take any medicine, only completion. On the 6th day having diarrhea, she wrote to Swamiji asking for help on the completion with the body. She never asked for healing because it was the process she needed to go through. She realized that only completion could heal her because the illness was coming from her incompletion.
Once she completed with her eating pattern, with the food, the diarrhea disappeared at once.
Volunteering in eN-Genius was not easy because of her incompletion, so she worked inauthentically. Her pattern came out that she only wanted to time out herself from people. She kept escape from the people, then more and more incompletions were created that made her suffered. Luckily, in HIS space, everything was under control and safe, even incompletions made all in chaos; that was only HIS leela, in fact.
Facing her root pattern in HIS Advaitha space, Camus finally completed with her root pattern. She wrote to Swamiji again that asking for help on the completion, as she completed with it many many times but it still influenced her and made her guilty and feeling insecurity. Swamiji said to Camus, “I will clear it for you. Don’t worry.” Then the completion process became more smooth that HIS energy with her to look more deeper and deeper until she realized how the entire pattern suffered her. She relived and dropped it on the day she got blessing.
After the completion with her root pattern, all became smooth and joyful. She was so thankful to her Guru that she never expected she would be in the completion process as she was just a volunteer, but not a participant.
Every time she has HIS physical presence, it is the time to reach the next level of completion.
The day she left Haridwar, she did Puda Puja and went close to Swamij. HE gave her a BIG hug without asking. HE told Camus in the last sentence, “I will take care of you.” She was so surprised that the same sentence she got in person from Swamiji. It was so confirmed that she had so close relationship with Swamiji. HE kept her close to HIM in silence with smile in few seconds afterwards. She found that it was the first time she was so ease with Swamiji closely and she could talk to HIM easily, just like family.
One more time to experience the power of COMPLETION! None of experience is same. That’s why life is miracle and possible!
Camus was so happy that she left India with excitement. She was tearing before because of guilty when she left India but this time no more tears. No more guilty suffers her, and the most important is that completion links her to the Divine. “You me; me you” relationship is happened by completion. There is no distance between Swamiji and Camus.
Thank you Swamiji <3 Love YOU DADDY :P
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